Acceptance saves heartache!

It was a normal , weekday morning with its usual hustle bustle when the phone rang. It was her mom.

There was an unspoken rule to speak to her mother after 12 pm everyday. When both the mother and daughter were free from their morning chores. It was an hour before lunch at 1pm so she caught up with her mom then and make some other quick calls, if required.

It was strange that mom was calling at 8.45 am in the morning. “Something is definitely not right, I am sure,” she thought in her mind. “What’s wrong?” she asked her mother in an almost trembling voice.

“Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.” 
― Valery Satterwhite

Invariably, she was the strongest one in the family but the slightest indication that something was wrong or someone was sick was enough to make her feel cold and sweaty at the same time.

“Your aunt called today morning”, mom’s voice was low and unclear. “Your uncle has cancer.He’s in the last stage. The doctors do not want to do any chemotherapy or surgery. They say now it’s too late.” Now, she was definitely sobbing.

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.” 
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Does uncle know?” was my first question.I knew him to be a very gentle person with the warmest heart.My first reaction was, no way, not him! “No, he doesn’t”, mom was almost fearing what I was- he wouldn’t be able to take it.But they needed to tell him, the sooner the better.

No sooner that two weeks later, my aunt and brother sat uncle down and told him the fact. His reaction was unbelievable. “Well, I am 75 years old now and I have lived a fantastic life. If something happens to me now, isn’t it only natural and acceptable?” This was way beyond everyone’s expectations in the family. He had taken the worst situation of his life with utmost calm, patience and temperance. He had accepted this situation in his life at the first instance without wasting a single second on denial, hatred or frustration. His maturity and understanding of life reflected his wisdom.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
― Lao Tzu

The ease with which her uncle accepted the situation was a lesson for her. We are all stuck when faced with changes especially tough ones. We spend so much time in denial asking questions such as “why me” and going into blame games, anger, rage and even depression. Change is usually not welcome in our lives with ease. It’s too much of an effort to deal with it.Only if we can accept these changes more quickly and offer lesser resistance, we can work on the solution more quickly and smoothly.

Not all that life gives us is to our own liking; but when life gives you lemons making lemonade makes sense. You cannot make a milk shake out of lemons, can you?

The most amazing resources on Acceptance –

Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Radical Acceptance: Guided Meditations

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